It happens to all of us women from time to time. You go out and meet this great guy, you both are having a lot of fun together and plan on meeting up again sometime soon. You both exchange numbers and you get all excited for when he’s going to call you. You wait… And wait… And wait… But he never calls back?
Firstly, before addressing this issue with a solution, we need to look at the common reasons why this happens.
He’s worried about “dating rules”
The most common reason he wouldn’t be calling you back immediately is because he doesn’t want to come across as too desperate or eager. Most guys, either because they are told by their friends or by social media, believe that there are specific dating rules that apply especially in the initial stages when talking to a woman.
One of the most common of these “rules” is the three day rule, which specifies that the guy shouldn’t call within the first three days, and should way til then so he doesn’t come across as desperate, thereby appearing calm and cool.
If you haven’t gotten a call after the three days though maybe this guy believes there are some sort of other rules involved, or maybe it’s one of the bottom reasons.
He has decided that he isn’t interested
Another common reason is that he has decided he’s no longer interested in pursuing the relationship or dating. Of course this is a very unfortunate reason and ideally we’d hope this isn’t the case for you, but it’s a possibility so we have to let you know this.
If this is the case it might be the right time to try the respect principle by James Bauer, which shows you a very strong way to get a man to deeply commit in relationships. It’s called “Be Irresistible: What Men Secretly Want Review”
Sometimes he may have made a mistake and is actually seeing someone else, and has decided that he simply cannot continue talking to you. Or maybe he just isn’t interested because it’s not something he can do in his life right now due to career commitments or something else.
A lot of the time, especially if he met you at a bar or something like that and was quite drunk, once he sobers up the next day he could remember he has a girlfriend, or he simply cannot begin dating you because it just doesn’t fit in with his life right now.
Maybe it’s logistically impossible for him
There’s always the possibility that he can’t call you back because he just CAN’T! Maybe he’s busy with work, or someone in his family is sick, or his phone is broken. You never know for sure what the reason could be but there’s always a possibility that right now he just cannot call you and that’s the reason.
Did you meet him drunk?
If you met him at a bar or nightclub and you both were drunk, especially him, then there’s a chance that he was so drunk and now that he’s sobered up the next day or next few days, he has completely forgotten about the whole number exchange the night before.
This isn’t as common as the others, but it definitely does happen. So you should think about the situation that occurred with you and whether or not you guys were both drunk, if so, this could definitely be a possibility.
He’s doing a bit of thinking time
If he hasn’t called back and you both have been dating for a while or seeing each other for a while, and this is completely abnormal from him, then there’s a chance he’s just taking a step back to figure out exactly how much he likes you, or how he wants to pursue this relationship with you.
It’s important for him to do this because it will then in turn affect you and how you can approach the relationship too. It’s incredibly important to you because you should always know how much you need to contribute and what your partner wants out of the relationship.
If this is the case and you do find out that it is, it’s important to give him some space now. Not allowing him to do this, may result in him thinking that you’re nagging him, and if this is the case it could be the difference between him wanting to continue the relationship or dating onwards and simply cutting it off with you completely.
Something happened between you two and he’s cooling off
If your situation involves a recent argument or fight between each other, and now he still hasn’t called after several days, then leave him be.
It’s almost definite that he isn’t calling you back because he is trying to cool off and get his head straight. Men can sometimes get a bit worked up and so they need some time to relax and get their heads straight.
If this is the case, as mentioned above, don’t message him. Let him do what he has to do and in time he will come back to you and let you know what he’s decided and how he feels about everything between the two of you.
He doesn’t want to be tied down
One of the least common reasons he doesn’t call you back is because he doesn’t want to be tied down and feel like he’s on a leash. A lot of men can have commitment issues at some point in their lives and they want to be free and single. When they start to feel that they are being held down by another person, they retract and get very conserved. This leads to them simply withdrawing and then you just wont get a call back from them at all.
So what do I do?
The secret is quite simple. Providing you believe that the reason he hasn’t called isn’t one of the ones mentioned above that involves you giving him space, call him yourself!
That’s the secret!
If you both are casual, or you are in a relationship that is important to you, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t just contact him yourself and ask him how he’s going. This will definitely give you some direction in terms of how he’s feelling and maybe then you can get a feel of which of the above reasons it was.